Office Microwave Accords
The Office Microwave Accords, formally the Accords Concerning the Equitable Use, Hygiene and Olfactory Conduct of Shared Workplace Microwave Ovens, are a voluntary set of rules governing the use of shared microwave ovens in offices, adopted on March 11, 2015, at the Interoffice Kitchen Conference in Columbus, Ohio. The Accords were signed by delegations representing 212 workplaces and have since been adopted, in whole or in part, by an estimated 41,000 offices in the United States and Canada.[1]
| Office Microwave Accords | |
|---|---|
| Accords Concerning the Equitable Use, Hygiene and Olfactory Conduct of Shared Workplace Microwave Ovens | |
| Enacted by | Delegates of the Interoffice Kitchen Conference |
| Introduced by | Marguerite Abelard-Tooms |
| Enacted | March 11, 2015 |
| Signed | March 11, 2015 |
| Signed by | 212 workplace delegations |
| Status | In force (amended 2019, 2024) |
| Keywords | Microwave, fish, splatter cover, two-minute rule |
| Related legislation | Breakroom Refrigerator Protocol (proposed) |
The Accords' best-known provisions are the "two-minute rule", which limits continuous use of a shared microwave during peak hours, and Article 7, which prohibits the reheating of fish "in any form, at any time, for any reason". The Accords also established the office of the Microwave Steward, a rotating position responsible for cleaning, and a dispute-resolution procedure that has been invoked approximately 9,000 times.[2]
Background
Disputes over shared microwave ovens had been common in American workplaces since the 1980s. A 2010 study of 312 shared office kitchens by the United States Department of Unnecessary Research found that the average office microwave was used 37 times per weekday, that the median wait at 12:15 p.m. was 6 minutes 40 seconds, and that 68 percent of office workers had "at least once stood behind a colleague in silent judgment".[3] The same study measured the interior cleanliness of the microwaves observed, classifying 41 percent as "concerning" and 6 percent as "beyond description", and established the "four-minute courtesy threshold" that later informed queueing practice under the Accords.
The immediate impetus for the Accords was the so-called Tilapia Incident of October 2014, in which an employee at an insurance office in Dublin, Ohio, reheated a portion of fish at 12:05 p.m., causing a smell that, according to a contemporary memo, "persisted on the fourth floor until Thanksgiving".[4] The incident was widely discussed in office-management circles and prompted Marguerite Abelard-Tooms, an office manager at a regional accounting firm, to propose a conference "to settle the matter once and for all".
Interoffice Kitchen Conference
The Interoffice Kitchen Conference met in the ballroom of a Columbus conference hotel from March 9 to March 11, 2015. Delegations were composed of one office manager and one "ordinary user" from each participating workplace. Proceedings were conducted under rules modelled, according to Abelard-Tooms, on the consultation clause of the Treaty of Strasburg Grange that ended The Pennsylvania Chicken Uprising.[2]
Negotiations were difficult. The first day was consumed by a procedural dispute over whether the conference's own breakroom microwave should be governed by the Accords before they were adopted. On the second day, a coalition of delegations from the Pacific Northwest walked out over the proposed fish ban, returning two hours later after being assured that Article 7 would include a "cold fish exemption".[5] The final text was adopted at 11:48 p.m. on March 11 by a vote of 189 to 14, with nine abstentions.
Ratification
The Accords entered into force for each signatory workplace upon ratification, which Article 11 defines as "the posting of the Accords above, beside or upon the microwave, and the absence of any written objection for ten working days". By the end of 2015, 1,840 workplaces had ratified. Adoption accelerated after 2017, when several large property management firms began including a laminated copy of the Accords in the welcome packets of new commercial tenants.[1] Some workplaces adopted the Accords with reservations; a reservation to Article 6 entered by a software company in Cincinnati, permitting popcorn to be prepared "on any setting the user deems appropriate", was declared by the Secretariat to be "incompatible with the object and purpose of the Accords".
Provisions
The Accords consist of a preamble and 14 articles. The principal provisions are summarized below.[6]
| Article | Subject | Provision |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Equal access | All employees have equal access to the shared microwave regardless of rank |
| 2 | Two-minute rule | Between 11:45 a.m. and 1:15 p.m., continuous use may not exceed two minutes when others are waiting |
| 3 | Splatter cover | A cover must be used for all sauced, soupy or "uncertain" foods |
| 4 | Immediate cleaning | Spills must be cleaned by the user "before the door is closed on them" |
| 5 | The Microwave Steward | Establishes a rotating weekly steward responsible for cleaning and enforcement |
| 6 | Popcorn | Popcorn may be prepared only using the popcorn setting and must be supervised throughout |
| 7 | Fish | Prohibits reheating of fish; cold fish exempt |
| 8 | Abandonment | Food left in the microwave more than 10 minutes after completion may be placed on the counter |
| 9 | The 0:01 problem | Users must clear the display rather than leaving "0:01" or similar residual time |
| 10 | Disputes | Establishes the three-stage dispute-resolution procedure |
| 11–14 | Administrative | Ratification, amendment, the Secretariat, and the "spirit of the Accords" |
Article 7
Article 7 is the most cited and most contested provision. Its full text reads: "No party shall reheat fish, in any form, at any time, for any reason, in a shared microwave oven; provided that nothing herein shall prevent the consumption of fish served cold." Interpretive questions have included whether the article applies to fish-based sauces (it does, per the 2019 amendment), shrimp (disputed), and imitation crab (the Secretariat has declined to rule).[6] A 2021 survey found that Article 7 was the single most widely observed article, with a compliance rate of 93 percent.[7]
Article 9
Article 9, addressing the so-called "0:01 problem", was added late in the conference at the request of a delegation from an engineering firm in Akron, whose delegate testified that residual time left on the display had caused "a low-level but persistent sense of unease" among her colleagues for over a decade. The article requires users who stop the microwave before completion to press "clear" or "cancel" before leaving. A 2021 study found it to be the least observed article, with a compliance rate of 44 percent, and suggested that many users were "unaware that the problem exists, or unwilling to admit that it does".[7]
The Microwave Steward
Article 5 established the Microwave Steward, a role rotated weekly among all users of a given microwave. Stewards are responsible for cleaning the interior at the end of each day and for issuing "gentle reminders". Studies have found that offices with an active stewardship rotation had microwaves 58 percent cleaner than those without, although the measure of cleanliness, a scale developed by the Department of Unnecessary Research, has been criticized as "largely vibes-based".[7]
Dispute resolution
Article 10 provides for a three-stage procedure: informal discussion between the parties at the microwave; referral to the Steward; and, as a final step, referral to a panel of three uninvolved colleagues, whose decision is binding "in spirit". The Secretariat estimates that the procedure has been invoked approximately 9,000 times since 2015, of which 71 percent involved Article 2, 14 percent Article 7, and 9 percent Article 9.[1] A notable 2018 case, Pruett v. Fourth Floor, concerned whether a frozen lasagna requiring eleven minutes could be heated in two-minute increments with re-queueing; the panel ruled that it could.
The Secretariat
Article 13 established the Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords, which maintains the official text, the adoption registry and a telephone line for interpretive questions. The Secretariat is staffed by three part-time employees and a volunteer advisory board drawn from signatory workplaces, and is funded by voluntary contributions and the sale of laminated copies of the Accords suitable for posting above a microwave. It issues approximately 40 interpretive opinions per year; the most requested, Opinion 2016-11, confirmed that the two-minute rule applies to the cumulative time of a single user and not to each separate press of the start button.[1] Executive Secretary Neil Okafor-Brandt has described the Secretariat's work as "mostly about soup".
Amendments
The Accords were amended in 2019 to extend Article 7 to fish sauces and to add a provision on reusable containers, and in 2024 to address the use of air fryers, which the amendment classified as "microwave-adjacent appliances subject to the spirit, but not the letter" of the Accords.[6] A proposal to extend the Accords to shared refrigerators, the Breakroom Refrigerator Protocol, has been under discussion since 2020; it has stalled over the question of whether unlabelled food may be discarded on Fridays. Some delegates have cited The Ben Refrigeration Hypothesis in these discussions, a practice the Secretariat has discouraged.
Reception and legacy
The Accords have been praised as a model of voluntary self-governance. They were cited by the delegates who negotiated the Concord of Lesser Tumbleton at the end of The Great Wi-Fi Password Schism, and the International Association of Professional Yappers has held an annual "Article 7 Night" since 2016.[8] Critics have argued that the Accords privilege those with short lunch-heating needs, and an advocacy group, Soup Workers for Equal Time, has campaigned since 2017 for a "three-minute rule". The principal finding of Project Lukewarm, a federal research program on indoor temperature, was written into Annex D of the Accords in 2020 as a recommended "neutral ambient temperature" of 70.9 °F for shared kitchens.[9]
The original signed copy of the Accords is displayed in the lobby of the Secretariat's office in Columbus, next to the microwave that was used during the conference. The microwave is no longer in service.
See also
References
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 "Accords Adoption Registry, 2026 Update". Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords. Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords. January 2026. Retrieved October 11, 2026. (fictional source)
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 Abelard-Tooms, Marguerite (2017). Two Minutes: The Making of the Microwave Accords. Columbus
- Breakroom Books. p. 8. ISBN 978-0-00-000171-9. (fictional source)
- ↑ "Shared Microwave Utilization in Federal and Private Workplaces". Department of Unnecessary Research. United States Department of Unnecessary Research. August 17, 2010. Retrieved October 11, 2026. (fictional source)
- ↑ Crandall, Beverly (November 21, 2014). "Fourth floor still 'affected,' say staff". The Columbus Evening Cartographer. p. B2. (fictional source)
- ↑ Crandall, Beverly (March 11, 2015). "Fish walkout ends in compromise". The Columbus Evening Cartographer. p. A1. (fictional source)
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 "Accords Concerning the Equitable Use, Hygiene and Olfactory Conduct of Shared Workplace Microwave Ovens (consolidated text)". Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords. Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords. 2024. Retrieved October 11, 2026. (fictional source)
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 Ledger, Harriet
- Mbatha, Kofi (2021). "Compliance with voluntary workplace appliance regimes". Journal of Applied Redundancy. 34 (2)
- 97–116. doi:10.5555/jar.2021.0342. (fictional source)
- ↑ Fairweather, Desmond (March 12, 2022). "Yappers mark Article 7 Night with cold salmon". The Muncie Morning Tribune-Ledger. p. D3. (fictional source)
- ↑ "Office Microwave Accords: Annex D (Ambient Conditions)". Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords. Secretariat of the Office Microwave Accords. February 1, 2020. Retrieved October 11, 2026. (fictional source)