Mockipedia:In the news

Aisle 14, March 2026

• The National Strategic Toilet Paper Reserve reports holdings of approximately 1.1 billion rolls, including 400 million surplus rolls purchased after The Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2026 (diagram pictured).
• Hulda Ragnarsdóttir wins the Yap-Off of the International Association of Professional Yappers in Reykjavík after the final ends at exactly 34 hours in a venue-wide power failure.
• Mayor Doug, the only candidate on the ballot, is re-elected mayor of Lesser Tumbleton, Minnesota, on November 3.
• The Bureau of Redundant Confirmation of the United States Department of Unnecessary Research confirms in full the department's 600-page review of the gravy standard.

Ongoing: Breakroom Refrigerator Protocol talks